Precautionary Measures

The first weekend of lockdown football in England is upon us.

Ignoring how awful it is watching stadium sports in silence and the cringe worthy lengths people are going to in order to soften the blow. From the artificial atmosphere, to the zoom call watch-alongs and the big screen fan cams.

There are some things that made me laugh.

Bailing water from a sinking ship

Maybe these things were being done because they wanted to be seen taking precautions and perceptions matter. Maybe they were being done because every little thing does matter. Maybe they just don’t know what they are doing.

So maybe it’s all sensible precautionaty measures, maybe it’s nonsense on stilts. Perhaps it’s both. Either way, these sights amused me.

• Players who have been training together. Who will spend the next 2 hours pushing, shoving, and jostling with each other observing social distancing before kickoff.

• Staff attempting to sterilize the footballs, goalposts, and cornerflag as the match was ongoing.

• Every time I saw folk fist (or forearm) bump, then instantly forget themselves, and lean in for a hug.

They had the feel of the old comic scene of people frantically bailing water out of a sinking ship.

Face masks are for the airways, you nutters

This gets special mention, because I’ve seen this all over the place, but the amount of people walking around with their nostrils peeping over the top of their face masks is hilarious.